What happens when the love of your life is in love with and marries someone else? What happens when someone else is living your happily ever after? After you have been patient, kind, selfless and caring. Well I’m here to tell you exactly what it feels and looks like. It is an ache in your heart that doesn’t go away. Every happy family that you see, facebook post, evening dinner at a restaurant is a constant reminder of what you almost had. It is truly an indescribable feeling. The hurt, the pain and bitterness that rushes over you and fills your face with heat and tears. It is a numbness, a void wine, nor beer, nor sweet concerning messages from loved ones can fill. It looks like a crooked smile and blank eyes from a sweet stranger. It looks like a lady walking her dog in the rain without a care in the world. It looks like a nice person holding the door for you at the grocery store. Your smile is what is keeping that person a float. The dog that rolls on his back for that person to rub is what keeps that person glued and whole for another day. It is that person that you see smiling at a youtube video laughing about nothing that keeps them from crying. i am that person. i am that person that smiles at my sweet puppy and then seconds later bursting into tears. i am that person that just wants to be loved.