- This is one of most important of all of the lessons. If someone wants to be with you they will make every effort to show you. “Nothing but death could keep him from it!” Shot out to Nettie and Ms. Cellie but seriously. Put it like this didn’t my President Barrack H. Obama have a wife, two daughters a dog AND serve as the leader of the free world? And your man who works at the car dealership/works on his mix tape and/or makes beats and remembers every time the Cowboys are playing and all the stats however he can’t remember the time for you because he’s “too busy?” Girl if you don’t gather your things and run you are in for a lot of foolery. Don’t chase no man! Trust that ole gut girl!
- You are in a relationship with him but he is he in a relationship with you? If this sentence speaks to your spirit and hits you in the chest once again RUN! He doesn’t have to have your name tatted on his chest, all over his IG etc. But if you bring up a title, status, relationship or anything like that and it’s too much for him girl… Are you burning up all of your gas and always going to see him? You already know the answer RUN don’t walk because you are in a relationship by your damn self.
- Any dude with light eyes. Bottom line here is just say no girl. For some reason you will overlook a lot of things with this man just because of those eyes. I’m saving you some unnecessary heartache girl. But if you must go ahead and let me know what happened. LOL! I’m here to tell you even if he’s ugly, he thinks that he is cuter than you. His entire life someone has told him how gorgeous his eyes are, and side note just because you mess around and get pregnant more than likely your baby won’t get those eyes. And if that is NOT his natural eye color he is gross, no man over 15 needs colored contacts PERIOD and they shouldn’t be trusted!
- If you have dated him before and now his relationships/marriage has failed. Don’t let him bring his lonely “Use to be my girl” Brian McKnight singing face ass back into your life. If he didn’t want to be serious with you or marry you then don’t be his fall back plan now. Remember why yall broke up and tell him to take care.
- If he is always taking/borrowing/needing something, or sounding poor mouth. This one is short, give him some money and you will never get it back. Don’t loan out a damn thing. You are not the bank, ATM, loan officer etc. Remember how long it took you to save your coins and if you needed something would he be there to help you? If you give something know that it is gone. If you do help out that is ok just don’t put yourself in a bind trying to help him. Just because you max out your card or do the most he will still leave you. Don’t let nobody have you out here broke, starving and gang bangin trying to help them. That is a life lesson.
- If he used to be fat but got into shape, Prom King or the star of the basketball team, homegirl you are asking for trouble. If he has a name like “Stacy, Courtney, Shawn statistically he’s fine and trouble. LOL! Additionally if he has a thick accent, mean swag or is bowlegged keep it moving.
- If he can tell you all about the next Jordan/LeBron etc release but hasn’t read a book since high school. Unless you want a live in baby dad, walk away sis.
- If he has too many undefined relationships with IG models, pretty girls, “best friends” “homegirls” or “little sisters.” RUN GIRL! LOL! Not only have they been and currently are hunchin AND she don’t like you. LOL! Additional caveat if he has a female “roommate” and she doesn’t like you. Girl see line above.
- If he’s in a rush to get you pregnant or move in but is saying nothing about getting married. #MESSAGE
- If you reach for the remote and he dives on you and damn near tackles you or breaks your arm because he thinks you are reaching for his phone. Gather your things and proceed home THEN in the car delete and BLOCK him.
Above all these are all based off my past personal experiences, this is just a lighthearted way for me to put out some of the things I’ve learned over the past 33 years. Know that you are a prize, don’t accept any ole thing anybody wants to give, protect your space and trust your instincts.
Extra gems thrown in for free:
Don’t cosign for shit!
Don’t accept just anything because you have been lonely or just want attention
Pay attention to how you argue, pay attention to how your man reacts and how he speaks to you if everything is a knock down drag out argument that will set the tone for the future.
If you have a baby by him do not name him a Jr. If you aren’t married (take it ole school on him) and don’t think if you do that will be a reason for him to stay with you.
He has undiagnosed mental issues
Has multiple baby moms
Had multiple marriages (find out what went wrong)
He cannot accept blame and is always the victim
Has unresolved financial or emotional issues
His hairline is pushed back and he won’t let it go
He draws on his beard
He has a curly perm
Has more Jordan’s that he does in his retirement
Don’t tattoo NOTHING on your body even if he does
Above all don’t let him disrespect you and don’t be respectful. Keep it classy sis and ride for your man if you have a good one. (Khia voice next caaaaase)
originally written November 15, 2017